Author Archives: chrispagefiction

About chrispagefiction

Author of the novels Weed, King of the Undies World, and The Underpants Tree, and story collection Un-Tall Tales; editor, freelance writer and all that stuff. At heart he is a London person, but the rest of his body is a long-term exile in Osaka, Japan.

Yesssssss! I just saw this:

Yesssssss! I just saw this: a conservatively, affluently dressed woman leading a transvestite guy by collar and chain through central Osaka in the middle of the afternoon. The bloke was wearing a fetchingly tiny black one-piece with very endearing white … Continue reading

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The man knocking on the shabby door of the grottiest flat in the scuzziest estate in the slummiest corner of London has a nose that looks like a bellend. Gideon Smith steps back from the door upon which he has rapped … Continue reading

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Coming soon!

I’m a bit chuffed to have just finished the penultimate draft of the current story. It’s been a long time coming (without good excuse in either my use of time or the quality of the story). Next tasks: another thorough … Continue reading

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Happy New Trump!

I should have put this up two weeks ago, but perhaps we can say it’s in time for the assumption. I wish now I’d made the drool blob piss yellow instead. All the best for the new year everyone!

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In praise of the universal banana

How many uses for a banana are there? I can think of a few. mimikaki for people with large ears if tied to the bottom of feet they are a cheap alternative to roller blades by virtue of the slippy … Continue reading

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Bollocks to 2016

Don’t look to me for answers, I want to know as much as you do.

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Page’s election analysis

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Sweet dreams are made like this

Look! My super-cool daughter has been making super-cool dreamcatchers. They are made with ivy from our garden, twine from the twine shop, stones mined from the more exotic moons of Jupiter or plucked from the rings of Saturn, and garnished … Continue reading

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Nothing more horrible than a nice cup of tea, don’t you think?

Of all the stupid things people say, one of the most stupid is ‘Would you like a nice cup of tea?’ I mean, what is the word nice doing in that sentence? It’s the sort of thing daft old grannies … Continue reading

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Low art?

A picture I did this week that may or may not say something about my current state of mind.

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