Category Archives: fiction

Sanctioned

The man knocking on the shabby door of the grottiest flat in the scuzziest estate in the slummiest corner of London has a nose that looks like a bellend. Gideon Smith steps back from the door upon which he has rapped … Continue reading

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Coming soon!

I’m a bit chuffed to have just finished the penultimate draft of the current story. It’s been a long time coming (without good excuse in either my use of time or the quality of the story). Next tasks: another thorough … Continue reading

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Nothing more horrible than a nice cup of tea, don’t you think?

Of all the stupid things people say, one of the most stupid is ‘Would you like a nice cup of tea?’ I mean, what is the word nice doing in that sentence? It’s the sort of thing daft old grannies … Continue reading

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Who’s got the writer’s money? Amazon’s got the writer’s money.

(Since this article was written, Amazon has changed the way it makes payments of royalties. The new system is a vast improvement on the one described below. However, the discrepancy in the way royalties are calculated by region — see below … Continue reading

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New approaches in advertising: call the customer a bastard

I’m trying this more direct and intuitive approach to marketing and advertising. What do you think?

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The great literary sock puppet interview

Author of Weed, King of the Undies World, and The Undperpants Tree, Chris Page isn’t an award winning novelist. He hasn’t won the Booker or the Nobel prize for literature or anything else. The sock puppet interviewed him to find … Continue reading

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Going completely plotty

Plotting for the next story. Thousands of words of notes on the computer. Putting important plot points on scraps of paper and arranging them by hand to get the story arc right. What I have here represents about two-thirds of … Continue reading

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Not a burning question, a merely lukewarm query

A question to the many millions of people who know a lot more about Facebook and promoting stuff online than I do. Conventional wisdom has it that as a person who writes and tries to flog books, I ought to … Continue reading

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Literary stars

From time to time people say nice things online about my stories. No, really! Here are some examples. Chris, Thank-you for making my days funnier and reminding me that laughter really is the best medicine. Loved the book! – Anna … Continue reading

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You can’t keep a good pair of undies down

Here’s the latest tweet-vert for King of the Undies World and The Underpants Tree. What do you think?

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