Tag Archives: bollocks

So, has someone been posting stuff on social media without checking its authenticity?

This ominous ‘Welcome to Australia’ image has been doing the rounds on social media, posted and liked by people I would normally consider to be humane and intelligent, who clearly feel — though none of them are actually Australian — … Continue reading

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Bollocks to summer!

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Bollocks to 2016

Don’t look to me for answers, I want to know as much as you do.

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Winning gold in Olympic yawning

  The Olympic Games is one of the most boring and futile spectacles yet invented by humans, so the approach of the last day will bring no dismay. Every four years the best athletes in the world join together to … Continue reading

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Bollocks to … summer

All right! Enough everybody! Enough! This summer has gone way beyond a joke now. Silly! Silly! What is it now? About 30 consecutive days of 35 or 36C? I hear that Osaka scored 38C today. Thirty-eight! I mean, fuck off, … Continue reading

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Lord of the Misgivings

Oh, what’s that sound? Oh, it’s you. Yes, it’s safe, you can come out of your hobbit hole, little hobbit. Yes, Littleshire has been made safe. The Sun is shining righteously. All the brown people are gone. There’s a pot … Continue reading

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New approaches in advertising: call the customer a bastard

I’m trying this more direct and intuitive approach to marketing and advertising. What do you think?

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Amazon are lying bastards, and an apology to my Japan readers

First of all, an apology to Japan-based potential readers of The Underpants Tree: I’m sorry. I apologise. Second, I have to call Amazon Japan a bunch of lying bastards. You’re a bunch of lying bastards, Amazon Japan! I apologise to … Continue reading

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McDonald’s threaten my son with police

Today, my son G received a letter from McDonald’s demanding the return of a uniform or they would turn the police on him. G worked part time at McDonald’s until about six months ago. Fair dos: it’s their shirt and … Continue reading

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Lydon and Brand not minding the bollocks

John Lydon sneering at Russell Brand is like the left testicle calling the right testicle a bollock. It all started when Lydon, née Johnny Rotten, was invited to a Guardian readers’ Q&A in which Lydon explained his stance on the … Continue reading

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