I’m a bit chuffed to have just finished the penultimate draft of the current story.
It’s been a long time coming (without good excuse in either my use of time or the quality of the story).
Next tasks: another thorough edit, and on with the cover art.
Presumably, the story will be in the shops this spring.
Can you contain yourself? Can I contain myself?
I should have put this up two weeks ago, but perhaps we can say it’s in time for the assumption.
I wish now I’d made the drool blob piss yellow instead.
All the best for the new year everyone!
How many uses for a banana are there? I can think of a few.
- mimikaki for people with large ears
- if tied to the bottom of feet they are a cheap alternative to roller blades by virtue of the slippy quality of banana skins
- a crutch for a small person
- a device for cleaning around the U-bend in toilets
- a neck support for passengers on long haul flights
- a stirrer for your tea
- a friend to talk to
- using advanced laser technology, a banana could be a device for storing huge amounts of information such as a novel like War and Peace: using clever mathematical formula you can encode War and Peace as a single long number: using clever laser technology you measure the exact mid point of the banana, then convert your number code for W&P to a fraction of one, and burn a line exactly that fraction of a centimetre from the mid point of a banana, and voila, you have the entire contents of W&P stored on a banana
- a non-returning boomerang
- a dug-out canoe for mice
- an artificial chonmage
- a lump in your pocket
- prosthetic fingers for amputees
- a snorkel for people who don’t do their snorkelling under water
- vegetarian sausages
These bananas feature in Chris Page’s collection of short fiction, Un-Tall Tales, which you can find on Amazon, or explore further on it’s very own site.
Don’t look to me for answers, I want to know as much as you do.
Look! My super-cool daughter has been making super-cool dreamcatchers.
They are made with ivy from our garden, twine from the twine shop, stones mined from the more exotic moons of Jupiter or plucked from the rings of Saturn, and garnished with feathers harvested from the tails of griffins by our cat. Or some such.
Sweet dreams are made like this.