An innocent and sincere question about the Conservative alliance with the DUP

bollocks_DUP's got it9490_n copy copyOK, I would like to know — and this is a serious question to all of you who voted Conservative — why do you think it’s OK to hook up with group that, apart from being completely backward, is also the political wing of a terrorist organisation?

I would really, genuinely like to know. How do you feel that your vote has essentially gone to supporters of terrorism?

When I say ‘supporters of terrorism’ I could be referring to both the Conservatives and the DUP, but for today’s conversation, in the interests of simplicity, let’s just talk about the Conservatives. No, I mean the DUP. (Freudian slip!)

One of the main Conservative attacks on Corbyn and Labour in recent weeks was an entirely fictitious story that he was in cahoots with IRA terrorists, that he was unpatriotic, that he was soft on defence, soft on terrorism and just generally soft all through. Like, don’t touch this guy, you’ll get goo all over your hands. But when it came down to the wire, the fucking Tories ran off to the DUP, notorious representatives of a terrorist organisation and asked for help.

(In case you’ve been in a coma for the last two days, or read the mainstream newspapers in the UK, the general election resulted in a hung parliament and the Conservatives ran off to the Dumbfuck Onionist Party of Northern Ireland to snatch the MPs they needed to get to the majority threshold. Which she achieved with a margin of zero.)

So far, so fucking shabby.

But let’s catch up with the DUP in objective terms. The party is endorsed by terrorist groups the UDA, UFV and RHC. The DUP has vetoed gay marriage in NI, and is anti-abortion. Oh, by the way, wasn’t gay marriage legalised in the rest of the UK by the actual Conservative party as such? This would suggest that the Conservatives have again got into bed with people who do not share the same values. No matter, on we go. In this time of austerity, one DUP MP was last year ordered to pay back £14,000 in falsely claimed expenses. The DUP has previously said that climate change ‘doesn’t matter’, and their education spokesperson believes the world is less than 10,000 years old. Apparently, a large number of their members believe in creationism. Oh, and the party believes in ‘ethnic nationalism’, i.e., if you’re not white and Protestant, you’re, you know, not quite human.

Nice work if you can get it.

I mean, the Conservative party has always sold itself on being tough on law and order and terrorism and being the holders of the moral high ground.

So, to go back to my question, why exactly do you think it’s OK to hook up with these guys? Really? Do they represent what you think?

If you don’t want to respond in a public space, you can email me:

Really! I’d very much like to know.

About chrispagefiction

Author of the novels Another Perfect Day in ****ing Paradise, Sanctioned, Weed, King of the Undies World, The Underpants Tree, and the story collection Un-Tall Tales. Editor, freelance writer, occasional cartoonist, graphic designer, and all that stuff. At heart he is a London person, but the rest of his body is in long-term exile in Osaka, Japan.
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